1. 1 year ago 

    Shrek Forever After.

    2nd July, UK release date. If you have advance screening before then, well I suggest you burn your ticket.

    We start off with Shrek all happily married with all his children, one specifically called Felicia. She’s green not black. About 10 minutes into it Shrek’s getting super pissed off with the marriage and children, like any normal father would 10 minutes into marriage, in this century. He crashes his children’s 1st birthday party and smashes up the specially made cake. Bad times. Fiona acts like she’s on her monthly and Shrek tells her he doesn’t want this life. Who would if you were that fat and green? He stomps off and this is where Rumpelstiltskin comes in! (Mad, annoying little twat)

    He tricks Shrek by pretending his horse duck & carriage has crashed and he’s trapped. Shrek being the monstrous ogre he isn’t any more helps this little annoying fucker and they get drunk. Shrek signs a contract to become a big scary ogre for a day and bam. lifes gone. The cat gets fat, Donkey works for witches and Fiona is queen of all ogres and Shrek has to convince her that true loves kiss will break the whole curse. Did I forget there’s only  24 hours to do this?

    Of course there’s a happy ending. They kiss and life becomes happy. Good times.

    Don’t waste your £10.00, Buy drugs instead.

  2. 1 year ago 

    Refresh.

    So I attempted blogging about my less than average, ordinary life but i’m not exactly Katie & Peter.. so that attempt failed.

    I decided to create a purpose of my page and i love nothing more than getting my opinion out there, even if it is only to my 12 current followers (love u guys)

    I’ll more than likely give my thoughts on new films I’ve illegally downloaded (or rarely pay at the cinema to watch), new albums that leak before the release, books, artwork ect. Creative things really, then I may just step it up a notch and post my opinion on celebrities and reality. I’m not out to offend anyone in question though, I’m nice like that.

    To get the basics of who I am out of the way; my name is James Ockerby and I live in Manchester, my birthday falls on August 2nd and I have brown hair. Not that hair colour matters. Unless you’re ginger.

    I joke.

    I prefer positive feedback and anything constrictive I will happily take on board. :)

    Oh and while I have the chance, follow me on twitter: @jamesockerby ;)

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